Otsukaresama | Expressing Gratitude
Otsukaresama is a Japanese word that means "to be tired". If you add the word “desu”, “Otsukaresama desu”, it translates into "you are tired." It does not sound profound after all, but the Japanese use this word as a greeting, after work, on the phone, etc.
To understand why this expression is commonly used, it's important to notice a few philosophies that shape the Japanese culture. First, the Japanese are incredibly civilized, be it with friends, family or strangers. Second, the Japanese culture was highly influenced by Buddhism, and a culture of appreciation is engrained in their interactions.
Although "otsukaresama desu" translates into "you are tired", it means "you are tired because you have worked hard, thank you." It's a beautiful way to appreciate someone's contribution.
In this research paper, it is shown that keeping a daily gratitude journal can increase well-being by 10%, the same effect of receiving two times more. Expressing gratitude toward others is fundamental for well-being, happiness and relationships. When having the opportunity to thank someone, don’t let it pass unnoticed: say it.
In the beginning, it might seem weird or inauthentic, especially if you’re not used to expressing gratitude often. Don’t get discouraged if you get a “what are you conspiring” reply. Smile, and say “actually, nothing.” Have some fun, and spot surprised reactions.
I used to struggle with gratitude. Not because I didn’t thank people, but because I didn’t take the time to appreciate their contribution in simple matters. Yes, I did say “thank you” to the restaurant employee, but I did not say it to my mum when she cooked dinner for me. A very subtle difference which, nonetheless, explains my lack of awareness.
When was the last time you thank someone for something simple?
I implemented a practice of listing 3 things I was grateful for every day. In some, it was very easy: having a nice dinner with friends, receiving a good grade or finishing an incredible book. But on others, I struggled. I would eventually come up with a few clichés that I wasn’t even feeling at the moment: “beautiful sky, sun, and family.” Who cares when you had a crappy day?
Honestly, for me, coming up with a daily list does not bring me an instant feeling of joy. It’s not something intensely profound, but instead daily cultivation of awareness towards the little things that happened. On some occasions, I notice things I never did before and make a mental note of listing them later. The more I do it, the more natural it becomes.
“And I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point: If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.”
While waiting in line, attending a boring lecture or being stuck in traffic, there is always something nice to appreciate.